How do you keep your peace when you want to quit?
Have you ever held a toxic job? A toxic job that made you question if you’re even supposed to do the kind of work that you’d once said you’d loved? A job that made you question your own capabilities, even though you used to be the star player on the team? Maybe you even won an award at the company, and now they’re trying to find reasons to get you on a Performance Improvement Plan.
Your instincts are to get up, tell them off, and storm out. But you can’t — maybe you are supporting a family, maybe you’re the woman that always has a plan, maybe you’re the woman who subscribes to the “It’s better to have a job than not”.
How do you keep your peace when your mind/body/soul are ready to leave now? And how do you shift yourself into a planning strategy to get away when you’re really emotionally charged?
Here are some tips to help:
Be Kind to Yourself. This one is self-explanatory, but be kind to yourself no matter what happens.
Grieve. Allow yourself to grieve what has happened and how you’ve been treated. You came into the company with high hopes, big goals and excitement around what you were going to work on and the team you were going to join. You’ve been let down, and in some cases, may feel humiliated. The grieving needs to happen in order to let go, so you can prepare the canvas for your exit and a new opportunity with new people and hopefully a bigger paycheck. Maybe more vacation time. Maybe a better manager and cool people to get to know. No matter what you want to manifest, step one will be to allow yourself to have your feelings.
Let Go. Sure, mentally you can start working on your resume and look at new jobs (hopefully not on your work computer). It’s as simple as just getting ready to write it all out, right? No, not 100%. I believe in the power of intention and in the power of saying, “I’m ready to let go of this experience (good/bad/ugly) and call in a new experience that will treat me right.” Or whatever the intention is that you have for yourself. It’s like cleaning a muddy window.
Go Inside. I don’t mean going into your office. I mean checking in with yourself to see if you’re ready to start planning your exit. Maybe you’re beyond ready, but if you’re not, it’s a good time to check in and ask yourself some questions:
What do I really want and need from my work?
What do I want to do differently or ask differently with this next role?
Do I like what I do, or do I need to revisit?
How do I feel about my compensation - including vacations, leave, etc.
What type of company do I see myself working for?
What type of management style do I need to be successful?
What is my career path, really? And do I still want that?
Use the Wisdom of Your Body. As you’re thinking through those questions, see where it resonates inside your body and if you can sense that these are the right questions for you. I strongly believe the body has its own wisdom, and when I’m coaching high-achieving women, I’ll often ask them to check with their bodies when they are thinking too heavily about how to solve a problem or if I’m hearing “I think, I think, I think…” a lot. Because I want to know what people know, deep inside themselves.
Serin Silva is an intuitive business coach, working with high-achieving women. She helps them discover their path to long-lasting success, increase their influence, and have an empowered seat at every CXO table. Book your free 30-minute session today.
